A patterned twitch just above my eyes is putting me in an ordeal of arduous willingness to finish the things I have to finish. Insofar, I have accomplished two; and may you not ask how many it is that I still have to round up. But it’s better to have done a few things than not to have started on anything at all. I procrastinate, I do not engage in slothful nothings. But what is technically the difference of both, if one might ask? Let me hang on that up for a while and elaborate more on the “4”. This entry is the sequel of my last entry which was numbered 5. Although I’m a day late, I’m confident I’ll finish.

Now for the difference between laziness and being a procrastinator. What is much worse, I have not the slightest of ideas. All I have are mere subjections of what I think should be the worst. And since man is and will always be bent on self-preservation, he would never betray himself. I am a procrastinator, therefore I would subsequently think of laziness as being more atrocious. I would not dare make myself the antagonist. Back to their difference before we go further astray. For one act to be considered procrastination, one must have the commitment to do and finish a certain task, while laziness on the other side of the coin, do not have this commitment. In plain simplicity, laziness is doing nothing and not even thinking of doing anything. Now, which are you? The lazy or the procrastinator? By the way, procrastinator sounds technologically abiding. It’s like a futuristic cyborg exclusively fabricated to destroy the studious and the diligence of scholarly erudite. The horror! Lazy on the other hand does not even elicit a horrific ideation; thinking of it just makes me think of a soporific entity visiting those that answers its knock and induces shut-eyes.

A sudden outburst of anger from the sky: a blinding, ephemeric flash of electrically-excited light consequently followed by a fulminating roar of vengeful thunder shook the ceaseless flow of absurdity. I’m back, and I’m out to regress on what it is that I was purposively aiming to accomplish.

My previous entry, I singularly took into distinction her eyes that allured and drew me near her encompassing embrace that once I got captured around, escape was ultimately impossible. This time, I’m going to advertently elaborate on the second feature of her that I deathfully admired.

Her smile, supervening her eyes, makes for a lethal combination of admiration-worthy features. I was weakened by her eyes, now when I got to see her smile up close, figuratively killed the rigidity in me. Her recondite smile keeps me guessing. The quaint curve that it ensues compliments her eyes like no other. A perfect combination: one trembled my knees, the other shivered my spine. When she smiles, or even the thought of it, seems to reflect a smile on me. I saw her smile up close during the clandestine meeting of quasi-rebellious, semi-frustrated students. It was a commonplace night. The chirps of crickets sensibly in chorus with the patter of the fatigued AC seem to collaborate with the implicitness of our purpose and how we would go about it. Silence governed the atmosphere, only mumbling whispers were reverberating on the secure walls of where we were staying. The weather was accommodating that night, appropriate of my first up close view of her paralyzing smile. Although she had no recollection that we were actually in the same room that moment, it doesn’t matter anymore. I saw her, and it was not my intention for her to notice me. Consciously, that is what I wanted to believe. But sometimes our demeanor and body gestures betray our conscious thoughts and actions. I do not know if I was betrayed, maybe I wasn’t for up until now, she has no reminiscence of such. I was staying leaning my chair against the mirrored wall, sitting beside my friends who were also called to offer their priceless ideas and skills. She, on the other hand, was in front of a proportionately gifted guy, which was against the cards on my hand. I could only see half of her divinely sculpted figure, her smile I could only glance. And I’m thankful that all I had that time was a glance, or if I had a much better view, I would have gone instantaneously insane. The frenzied soup of emotions I felt that time was already tough to control, what more then would I be in if I had the opportunity, the privilege, the coincidence of having to look at her hook, line, and sinker. I was fortunate that night for I have kept my sanity all the while having a vivid picture of her smile (half of it though).

What I loved about her firstly was her weakening eyes. Secondly, her “I can’t get enough of” smile that supplants and compliments her ever-alluring eyes. Going home this afternoon, I was awe-struck by the opening of a slight window where the beam of the migrating sun shun. Although it only appeared for a little while, the breathtaking effects it ensued were already glued within the constructs of my shallow mind. I realized how lucky I was for having to witness such rarity: nature’s wonder showcased every day. Nature is seeking for attention; we are just too immersed in our little world of dilemmas that we are inclined not to ever notice the grandiosities of natural occurrences. Nature is the embodiment of all things sublime.

Sublime. The thought of having to spend the rest of my waking days (might even be the whimsical nights) with her can only be described by that one word: Sublime. Up until now I still have not fully grasp the reality that I can call her mine. Inasmuch as I would anxiously get hold of that reality, it still leaves me in an awe of disbelief. But I believe. Way back when, when I was just a witness positioned from an astronomer’s stool observing the journey of heavenly bodies, right now, she’s close that she can perceive my skipping heartbeats. Before, I was just a hoping romantic, hopelessly fantasizing of the moment where what we have now would happen. And voila! Now happened. The past, if I take into rosy retrospection, incarcerates my believing of the present. Smile! Do not deprive me of such splendor. I’m always secondly addicted by it. Live your life with mine, for I have decided to live mine with you. I’m yours, always! =]