I have been staring at my glaring monitor screen for many hours it seems, and i still don't know what i would do. I feel like i am now beginning to be dependent on organizers and to-list's. But no matter how i think of things to do, i just can't seem to focus my mind on one thing. And the bombardment of so many things i wanted to do has kept me fastened in my already-broken rolling chair, which by the way, is not comforting to the aching back brought about by age. There was a time when i wanted to just gorge on a book, read thoroughly from cover to cover, and just wait until the Sandman comes visiting me with his bag of dizzying sand. But, hours have passed since that commitment of task, and i still haven't opened a book. There came a time also when i wanted to just freely write whatever it is that comes to mind(like the one i'm doing as of the moment), but that too has diminished in motivation, and i still haven't started to write anything. Not that nothing is in my mind, believe me, so many things is in my mind, most of them are plainly inane and preposterous. Some are too inane to be even given the slightest attention. And awhile ago, i wanted to just lay down, wait for a poem to come to mind, control my hand to write the words as i describe the panoramic vision i see inside my bubble of imagination, but that too crumbled by laziness. And here i am now, spontaneously sensing the boxed keys of my keyboard, read the things my thought has plagued my mind. As John Dewey posited, "Act first, think later!" In my case, type first, think of whatever it is i am typing later. Such a motivating piece of advice by John Dewey.


It has been 3 days, 4 days to be exact, since 2 hours are just a fleeting of time, after our training in SACS, and i still haven't been able to go down cloud 9. I have been so elated by that experience that i am still as happy as i was right after that event. That day was not only successful, but it has been one of my best experience thus far. I have met so many people that have contributed to the sculpting of my new self, and i hope i have also contributed as much to the sculpting of theirs. Life is linear. Our lives are highways. And somewhere down the coils of life's roads, comes an intersection of highways. I am glad that at that day, mine has come across many. We have made crossroads out of straight highways. And deep in my heart of hearts, i do hope that one day, we'd go back to that crossroad, take a much needed stop within the junction of our crossroads, and share the things we weren't able to share.


Once in our lives, we'll be able to meet someone who will have touched our lives significantly that even the tone of their voices will have etched in our hearts. Within the shortness of our lives, we will meet people who actually made a difference in our lives, and sadly enough, even they chose not to stay. People come, and people go. No one ever does stay and watch us rot into non-existence. But that is the beauty of our journey through the white waters of life. We get to realize that we are dependent, and we are alone. Everyone is dependent of something or someone. And the worry of losing that something or someone we are dependent upon constantly teaches us the beauty of savoring every moment with that something or someone. It is only in the realization that nobody stays with us and watch us as our skin shrivels, as our bone curves, as our muscles flap, as our hair silvers, and as our memories diminish into mere darkness, that makes life wonderfully blessed. As of this moment in time, when we have the things and people that matters most to us, makes our lives worthwhile, for someday as the road on which we trudge decays, we realize that we are alone; placed into this world with no one, removed from this world with no one. Life is cruel! But what a wonderful time it is to have met people who, even though momentarily, has made your life a bar above cruelty.


Someday, the people we love we'd have to lose, the people closes to us will part ways with us, and that is inevitable. There are just certain things in our life that are too sad to just accept nonchalantly. We'd have to be proven of its inevitableness to slightly believe it, and even that will not completely persuade an individual whose outlook in life is as rosy as their wishful thinkings. Tonight has rained. It has been so long ago since the last water that fell from the sky, and this is shaping to be a melancholic night. The rain never failed to plant seeds for my imagination to sow, and this certainly is no exemption. The scorching heat of the sun has been angrily bouncing its fieriness. Water supplies has been slowly diminishing, but that is another issue. Come rain! Shower our lives with more of your grandiose. Life is cruel! But a wonderful privilege to have met everyone even though someday they'd depart the runway of life's airport. Enjoy the cruelty of life! =]