shame kills. And it does so by suffocating the inner vitality within us. Whatever life that is proliferating inside the realms of our being, is suppressed by a resilient murderer. Whatever glimmering talent we have, which a divine architecture has bestowed to us, is corralled by an iron-clad jail. Shame is resilient and does no one good. Watching the story from someone in the Philippine's talent competition "Pilipinas Got Talent", succinctly PGT, it really drained my heart from all its juices of primordial emotions. When i heard her sing, it permeated out. With such a voice, a voice that can shake the very foundations of Philippine talent world, and only to be jailed by shame, it is painful. While she was singing, a hodgepodge of emotions filled up to the brim the dram that catches my feelings. I felt happiness for her effort of at least sharing her talent to the world. I felt excitement for her future as a famous belter. I felt sorrow for her sorrow. I felt anger for her chickening out and hiding in the dark for so long. With such a voice, she could have lit up the dim faces of many. An amalgam of emotions i have not obviated. Nonetheless, it was during her singing that i truly felt again the genuine pride of being akin to her.


shame does no one good, and it certainly should never be considered as an alternative to protect one's ego. Our ego is easily chagrined and is too brittle. It certainly is selfish too. All the things it wishes is aimed for self-preservation, if not totally, mostly. As living, sentient beings who wishes nothing less than living, we should have a robust gumption of willingness to live life, show what it is that we are gifted with, and explicitly announce to the world of our pride for it. Going back to the woman in PGT, she was a diamond amongst a bar of gold. It glitters all by itself, and it will not fail to make you notice of its glamour and prismic emanation of 7 wavelength-ed light. She was too amazing to be passed by. I do hope she makes, not only in the show, but also straight to where celebrities are accomodated; tv screens.


Let's askew a bit (not a bit actually, if anything, let us askew sharply). Forever is never attainable. It is like something only found at the limit of your sight, that as you draw near, it draws far simultaneously. Take this analogically fabricated scenario: a piece of carrot tied to the head to be in front of the rabbit's head, and the more the rabbit runs to grab a bite of the carrot, the carrot moves with it. They are in a never ending push-push predicament. Forever moves farther back as we try to move towards it. I do believe, and i do hold strongly to this tenet that forever is just a frame of mind fabricated by those who are fearful of living what is actually now. Since they are still undecided as to whether today will turn out worthwhile, they resort to using forever as an excuse to have to circumvent the ordeal they are facing for "now". And since no man has ever reach the point of forever, then they can evade the blame of the flaws of today promised to be repaired in forever, since again, let me emphasize on this, forever is unreachable. Good for stars, that even though no one has ever reach even a kilometer close, they exude light which signals and vindicates their existence.


We should live for now and for tomorrow. And since tomorrow itself, like forever, unattainable, let it just be a lighthouse to our ships. We are veered towards tomorrow, and whatever it is that we are facing, we are perpetually flowing downstream. The momentum that tomorrow has left is so strong that it sucks in an invisible vortex everything that is behind it, that is of course with the inclusion of now and everything else before "now". Tomorrow is like a freight train moving unhesitantly towards an unset goal, living behind it a cyclone sucking whatever it passes by. But no matter how fast we run, how convicted we may be, we can never ever be inside the train of tomorrow. We can visualize it, whim for it, hope it to be, but that is all there is to it. Everything is just a resilient thought in our minds. In zombieland, only now exists. Everything else is non-extant. Yesterday may have been, but we could never be in it again. We deceive ourselves hoping that we could turn back the ticks of time, go forward the tocs of time, but if we open our eyes, grasp whatever it is that we can grasp, all we have in life is today. Our mistakes are done today, after it has been, it could never be again and all there is left to do is set it right directly or otherwise, after it. Our wishes for tomorrow remains a wish, and when it does come to be today, it would have lost its being a tomorrow's wish.


The bottomline of my incessant bafflegabbing is that all we have, the only arsenal we have in our disposal is today. It is "now" that is important, but not essential, for everything is essential: past, present, future. We get to live life today, right this very instance. We try to equivocate the burden of having only one day to live the totality of our lives, failing to comprehend that the totality of our lives is just impedimented in a day. We are only alive for one day, and that is now! Why waste now, when tomorrow is promised to no one, Leo Buscaglia once insinuated. And let me add to that beautiful tenet: yesterdays are never assured to anyone that it existed, tomorrow is never promised to anyone, today is a privilege for everyone to prove to themselves and to anybody else that they are living. I am here today! Ask me again tomorrow if i still am..=]