While i was heading home riding a crude yet historically-significant vehicle, sitting directly next to where the exit is, and when i intuitively turned my head to my right as the jeepney started to roll up the inclined start of the "old bridge" i happen to catch a glimpse of an astonishing site. The moon, seemingly incomplete and devoured by darkness, begets a smile. The smooth edges of the curvature of its smile, scintillating in borrowed luster, seems to be too pretentious. Actually, its smile is more of a twitch of the lips. The kind of smile that is used to shroud feelings of sorrow. But that is just me. And the moon may just be showing what the sun wanted it to show.


Do you know that we are constantly seeing only the one side of the moon? We never get to see what is behind the exhausted moon. And i believe that we are like that. We only show to people, close or otherwise, one side of our selves. There remains in us an insurmountable inhibition where even if we are aware of such chasm between what to show and what not to show, we still pull ourselves back and refuse to show the totality of ourselves. We are different people when we are alone to when we are outside the comfort of solitude. But this doesn't make us pretentious. For we are not pretending to be anybody different, and it certainly does not misguide the people with whom we interact. We as humans are an amalgam of selves. We have this colation of different selves, and each of them are what constitutes the totality of our being. I am many, and so are you. We are distinct persons in distinct contexts, but we are still those persons. Water changes physical properties contingent to varying temperatures. Water can be ice when temperature falls down below the freezing point of water which is 0 degrees celsius, and water can also be vapor above the boiling point of it. We are like the water, we are amorphous, we continually, though sometimes unconsciously adapt to the surroundings in order for congruence to occur. We are an adaptive specie, we strive for homeostasis.


I have so many things that i wished to share to the people around me, so much so that i do not know where to start. But beneath the intention of self-disclosing there belongs a leash of plaguing inhibition. I believe we all have that certain dilemma where we just cannot show to the people around us what we truly feel, who we truly are, and where we truly want to go. We inefficaciously place ourselves inside the shoes of our observers and think of how they might react or think when they found out that i am this, i am that, whatnot. We already have a conclusion as to how they might think about us even before we showed ourselves to them. Talk about making a stereotype against ourselves. And i thought emotional self-inflicting of wounds via cutting the wrist reluctantly with seemingly every sharp object one can find is the most nefarious form of self-gratification via self-infliction of wounds. I have nothing against this specific type of group, as they have their own right towards unique way of self-expression. If anything, all i have for them is respect, but more on apathy.


Have you ever contemplated as to who among our friends can best describe us comprehensively who we are? I believe that even among the closest of my close friends, there still remains a room where i can comfortably breathe and move. We are just too reluctant in disclosing every information about us. We should be like the moon. Though we are only showing half of who we are, might as well show to every person an overview of what they may expect of us.


The moon is very dependent to the sun, not only as a source of luster, but as a source of almost anything. Like us, we persons are dependent to many things in life that is relative to everything. Live life relatively! And we may sometimes see ourselves behind the line labeled as conventionality. Life is relative! =]